Your Mother

" Who should I give my love to?

My respect and my honour to
Who should I pay good mind to?
After Allah
And Rasulullah

Come your Mother .. " 

Yes, it's our Mother. Being a 26 years old daughter, I could say I never really understand a motherly love. Mother and I, we fought a lot. With me being a stubborn little girl and self- centered, I had always thought my mother love failed to reach my heart. 

Since I was 13 years old, we were separated by boarding school until I finished my degree at 24 years old. I would only spent time together during semester breaks / holidays. We never had our time to understand each other more. And worst, I always thought she have forgotten my good deeds and will only find me if she is unwell/has problem. 

Oh my, what a daughter I have been. Slap on the face. 

And now, I am a newly so-called Mother who gave birth a son. 

Since my little son in the womb, a motherly sacrifice already started in me. Being all alone in my old workplace, far from husband and my family. Only tears and Du'a and some calls and messages accompanied. 

A 8-9 months pregnant me can still working in emergency department, seeing patient, walked a lot, went up and downstairs, drove home and etc. And the sacrifice continues and I am so sure it never ends.

The painful misery of delivery, the 24 hours standby with goodbye sweet resting time at night, the not anymore physical  attractive after delivery, and it all about the baby, my little son. 

One thing that I realized, my emotion during confinement was so labile. Crying over some small matter, easily irritable, anxious and panic attack,

And so much many others. Once you become a mother, you are 90% changed from the old you as a lady, physically / biologically, emotionally.

Oh Allah, no wonder you grants the women who became a mother Paradise from any door they wished. We totally sacrificed ourselves to give birth of a new human being.

So for my mother.

Oh Allah, bless my mother with Your endless ultimate love,

Grant her with good health,

Protect her with Your almighty protection

Please her with good days and night

Make her wishes come true

Mama,

Thank you for always love us 

And for being strong long enough to take care of us

We love you <3

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