Monday, February 21, 2011

Can I hate you?

I lived in two worlds.. 
The bigger and the smaller..
Sometimes, I am stuck in that small world where..

I felt myself is small..
I lost my confidence..
I lost my true aims..
I am chasing..
Keep on chasing..
A self that I didn't recognize..

I hate you..
I shouldn't hate you..

It was me who chose the wrong track..
I shouldn't know you..
I should't keep on looking at you..
You mess me up so much..

Can I hate you?
I don't like hating people..

I do reaction formation.. 
I care people I dislike..
I concern people I am jealous..
I cheer up people I am hurt..

the discomfort didn't go away..
I still feel the ache..

I hope, 
one day I can forget about you..
and leave your world..

I will try.. 
And will keep on trying..

I know,
I have something that you didn't have..
I have great things that you didn't have..
I should motivate myself that I am special in my own way..
And you are special in your own way..

You are not my enemy..
I don't wanna you to be..
But, I just can't be friends with you..
And I hope I don't know you..

Live your world as you wanna be..

All the best for you..
I hope you will find your happiness..
Stay well and be happy..

Sayonara girl.. 

Reaction formation : A defense mechanism where people tends to react opposite on what they really feel.

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